🪺Glimmer Nest: Partnering with Your Mind
🧠A Work In Progress...
Let's chat about something that's been on my mind lately - quite literally. I've been diving into this fascinating world of partnering with our own minds, and I’m finally finding resources that help! If you’ve read my past posts you know a bit about me, but if you’re new here you may not know that I live with disassociation from past traumas. That means staying on top of mind is something I take very seriously.
Those unreliable narrators that seem to have missed the "supportive inner voice" memo seem to run rampant in overwhelmed brains. As we navigate the obstacle course of parenting, work, and personal growth, I’ve found it's crucial to understand how we can work with our thoughts to find some moments of peace and empowerment. Or at least how to negotiate a ceasefire with our inner critic.
There’s a book I've read and am now re-reading called "MindShifting: Stop Your Brain from Sabotaging Your Happiness and Success" by Mitch Weisburgh. Mitch talks about how everything starts with our mindset. Whether we're feeling motivated or overwhelmed, curious or anxious, It's all about switching from mindsets that hold us back to ones that propel us forward.
Then, very recently, I tuned into an amazing episode of Mel Robbins' podcast about controlling your mind and redirecting your energy. Mel shares science-backed techniques for getting your brain to work for you rather than against you. As an autism mom, a work-from-home professional, and someone who's been emerging from what I call a "self-imposed witness protection program," reading more about these ideas and the science at play has been so reassuring. I feel so much more hopeful. You see, for awhile I thought my brain was broken, that there was no way of repairing it.
Recently, I've been challenging myself to partner with my mind in new ways. As the community manager for an online group of autism parents navigating mental health challenges, I created weekly executive function challenges. What started as a professional task became a personal growth opportunity. By engaging in these challenges with my son and creating introductory videos together, I'm learning to embrace life's difficulties while recognizing the unique tools at my disposal. Who knew that making beds and making lunch could be rebranded as an executive function exercises that I can do alongside my son?
Weisburgh's words really hit home for me: "Stories take on a life of their own, and we don't even think about them; we just follow them blindly." I realized I had been telling myself a story about being an autism mom that sometimes served as a crutch, an excuse to remain hidden. Because apparently, I thought "autism mom" was synonymous with "hermit who forgot that she can still care about herself without diminishing the love she is able to pour into her child's homeschooling, work projects for others, household responsibilities, etc." But let me tell you, when you're isolated and your own thoughts are echoing back at you like you're stuck in some kind of mental canyon, it sure can feel that way. It's amazing how convincing our own internal narratives can be when there's no one around to call BS on them.
A very kind friend gave me a gift certificate to a local salon about two years ago. It’s been staring at me ever since. It's like a tangible manifestation of my inner critic, silently judging my lack of self-care from its cozy spot in my desk drawer. Yet, the thought of using it fills me with anxiety. The idea of leaving my son, even with his father, felt overwhelming. Plus, my 6 ft. + son has become my constant companion in the world, especially since starting homeschooling him three years ago. I see now that he feels a bit like a shield for me, a buffer. I recognize this as another story I’m telling myself, one that keeps me from caring for my own needs, even if it’s just a professional haircut once a year.
Weisburgh notes, "Each of us has a Part X. Part X will always tell us we are not good enough." Ah yes, good old Part X - the inner voice that makes Meryl Streep's Miranda Priestly sound like a motivational speaker. It's been my constant companion as I've been trimming my own hair for the past three years. Because nothing says "I've got my life together" quite like wielding scissors in front of the bathroom mirror, guided by a voice with vocal fry on a YouTube tutorial.
As I approach my 50th birthday, I'm setting a goal through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ACT) to finally schedule that professional appointment and go by myself. It might sound small, but it's a significant step in rewriting my story of self-worth. I'm basically building a bridge to self-care while I cross it, hoping the structure holds up long enough for me to make it to the salon chair.
This journey of partnering with our minds, of shifting from hiding to healing, is far from straightforward. It's more like navigating a maze where the walls keep shifting - just when you think you've found the way out, you're faced with a new challenge. Currently, I’m retraining my brain to look for the glimmers. Mel talks about an aspect of this in a wholly different way as “looking for hearts”.
Each day, as you go about your business, look for naturally occurring heart shapes in the world around you. The message is we see what we are looking for. Your brain has a filter known as the Reticular Activating System, or RAS, for short. It’s a bundle of nerves that filters out unnecessary information so that important information can get through. Did you ever learn a new word, and then see and hear it everywhere? See a car model you like once and then suddenly see it everywhere? That’s your RAS at work.
Your RAS takes what you focus on and creates a filter for it. It then sifts through all of that and presents only the pieces that are important to you.
My son and I go on long walks around our neighborhood and we now “look for the hearts” and also look for the cardinals (that’s my spin). It’s a tiny thing that also helps him focus on something positive and keeps anxiety at bay. I’m learning it also ever so slightly (and sneakily) gamifies his “PE period”.
Here's the thing - those small moments, the ones we often overlook, can also be unexpected shortcuts through the maze. A friend sending a silly gif, someone genuinely asking how you are, or even just managing to ask someone else how they're doing - these little interactions can be lifelines, pulling us back from the brink of dissociation. We just have to tell our brains to stop and notice them.
Whether you're an autism parent, someone dealing with social anxiety, or anyone working to rewrite their story, know that you're not alone. We can all learn to partner with our minds, to challenge our limiting beliefs, and to step, however tentatively, back into the world. Or at least into slightly better lighting.
What story are you ready to rewrite? What small step can you take today to partner with your mind and move towards healing? And more importantly, how can you celebrate the tiny victories that keep you tethered to the here and now?
In our next chat, I'd love to explore more about the power of micro-connections in maintaining our mental health, and how these small gestures can create big ripples in our well-being. We'll also dive into the art of reframing our internal narratives. How can we turn our inner Miranda Priestly into a more supportive voice? I'm excited to share more of what I'm learning and hear your thoughts too.
Until then, be gentle with yourself. Remember, we're all works in progress, and that's perfectly okay.
Sending hearts your way,
P.S. - If you discover any hearts in the wild, please share pics or stories here in the comments or join us in our Glimmer Nest subscriber community chat!
Recommended Resources:
MindShifting: Stop Your Brain from Sabotaging Your Happiness and Success by Mitch Weisburgh, 2024 & also check out his Substack here.
The Mel Robbins Podcast: "How to Control Your Mind & Redirect Your Energy to Self Transformation" episode from February 17, 2025.